I Saw Forever
by dee768nj
Summary: Complete! Spoilers for FLF. I wasn't thrilled with what happened at the end of FLF, so this story picks up where FLF left off, a new ending from Ranger's point of view. Babe, of course. Warning for smut.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: __As a diehard babe, I didn't like the way FLF ended. So I wrote a new ending inspired by Blue October's song "My Never." It's really a Twilight song, part of the 2008 Breaking Dawn Concert Series with Stephenie Meyer. But after having just read FLF, all I could think about was Ranger._

_SPOILERS for FLF._

_Disclaimer: Not my characters, not making any money._

**I Saw Forever**

By Dee

_  
…That doesn't happen to me  
I've never been here before  
I saw forever in my never…  
—Justin Furstenfeld_

_oOo_

The last Ranger scene in FLF, but from Ranger's pov:

"_**You should be happy," Stephanie said to me. "You solved your mystery."**_

"_**I was almost ruined by two goofy kids. I'm embarrassed."**_

"_**Whoa," she said. "That's an emotion."**_

"_**You think I don't have emotions?"**_

"_**I don't think you very often get embarrassed."**_

"_**It takes a lot," I said.**_

"_**You brought me in to snoop around. Now that you found your bad guys does this mean I'm being terminated?"**_

_**I looked down at her. "That's your decision."**_

"_**I think I'll keep the job for a while longer, but I'll move out of your bed."**_

"_**That's the safe way to go," I said. "But not the most satisfying. The job will get boring."**_

"_**But not your bed?"**_

"_**Not if we're in it together."**_

_**The look on her face told me there was no doubt in her mind.**_

_oOo_

While Stephanie gathered up her things from the bathroom and packed her clothes into a plastic shopping bag I found for her, I walked out into the kitchen and dialed Tank. "Can you get a tracker on the taxi in the next five minutes?" I murmured, my back to the bedroom.

I could tell by his voice that he was wearing a big, shit-eating grin. "Consider it done, boss."

I walked back into the living room and picked up Rex's aquarium as Stephanie came into the hall with her things. "Going to move into Morelli's until your apartment is ready?" I kept my question casual, pretending it didn't matter.

"No way." She shook her head. "I'm off men. I'm going to stay with my parents."

I nodded, tucked the rodent habitat under one arm and opened the door for her. "I'll walk you down."

Once Rex and Stephanie's things were stowed in Mr. Plum's cab, I inserted myself between Stephanie and the driver's door and put my hands on her shoulders, turning her to face me. I hesitated, drew a breath. "Thank you for your help, Babe." And I brushed my lips across hers.

Her beautiful blue eyes went blind for a moment, and then she blinked them back to awareness. "De nada, Ranger. See you tomorrow."

After watching her drive away, I trudged back up to the fifth floor. All those nights of patrolling, looking for the thieves, had taken their toll. I was tired. For the first time ever I could feel middle age looming.

I stopped in the control room, where Victor Zullick was monitoring the GPS trackers. "Do you have Stephanie's location?"

Victor pointed to a blip on the screen. "This is the taxicab. Heading for the Burg."

I stood and watched for a couple of minutes, and my heart sank when the dot on the map took the turn for Morelli's house. Off men, yeah, right. That didn't last long. "I'll be up on seven," I told Victor and forced myself to stride to the stairwell.

After a couple hours leafing through the papers on my desk I'd had it. It was ten, and I was exhausted. A quick shower and bed. A good night's sleep would do wonders for my mood. I'd been under an incredible strain, especially the past week, but now that the mystery of the break-ins was solved things would get back to normal.

As I showered I thought about Stephanie's assessment of me as emotionless. I had emotions, just like anyone else, though it was true I kept them hidden from most people. What really stung was that I'd shared more of my feelings with Stephanie than with anyone else, ever. And she still thought I was cold, indifferent?

When I walked naked from the bathroom, intending to go straight to bed, the computer drew me back into the den. Standing at the desk I punched up the tracker screen. The cab was parked in front of Morelli's house. Blanking the monitor I hit the sack.

I pulled the pillow from Stephanie's side of the bed and inhaled. The scent of her hair clung. You've been a huge asshole to her, I told myself. You're getting exactly what you deserve.

Wrapping my arms around the pillow, I emptied my mind, awaiting sleep.

_oOo_

Tank and I walked up the steps and through the red-painted wooden doors into the church. I looked down at myself. Black suit, white shirt, black tie, black dress shoes. Tank was dressed the same.

Inside the church stained glass windows cast a golden glow over the people seated there, flooding the sanctuary with warmth. Seated on the left side near the back were a dozen of my men, all wearing suits.

"Someone needs to watch their backs," I told Tank and jerked my head to the left. We moved toward the corner and leaned against the rear wall, folding our arms across our chests in a relaxed pose. But my arms were tensed, my chest tight, my breathing short.

The organ resounded and I looked toward the door. The vision in white stopped my heart.

It was Stephanie, wearing a strapless white gown with a long train. Her bare arms and shoulders shimmered with a pale vulnerability that made my throat ache. Her curls floated in wispy flutters on top of her head, encircled by a band of white flowers that matched the nosegay she held at her waist.

A tremulous smile touched her lips as she looked toward the front of the church, dragging my gaze forward with hers. A tuxedoed Joe Morelli waited there, a cocky grin on his face, and he gave me a quick, arrogant wink before turning his attention to Stephanie.

The priest's voice boomed like thunder, filling the church with shuddering sound waves. "…let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Tank's hand clamped on my arm as I opened my mouth. His deep voice rumbled in my ear. "Carlos…"

I shouted, but no sound came. I sucked in air and tried again, my chest heaving, throat straining, but there was only an echoing silence.

The priest looked back down at his liturgy and opened his mouth, ready to proceed with the ceremony. I used every iota of strength I could summon to draw in a deep breath, tensed my chest, opened my throat and screamed at the top of my lungs. "No-o-o-o-o-o…!"

My own shout woke me, and I jerked upright in the darkness, gasping for air, my heart hammering, cold sweat dripping down my throat.

A dream.

It was just a dream.

I looked at the clock. Not quite midnight. I'd been sleeping for less than two hours. My throat was parched, and I rolled out of bed and padded to the kitchen for a bottle of water.

After drinking my fill I bypassed the bed in favor of the den, clicking the monitor back to life, my eyes riveted on Slater Street. No blip. The relief was so sharp I could taste it when I found the taxi stationary at the Plum house. Sighing, I flicked the monitor off again and sank back into the cool sheets.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

**I Saw Forever 2**

I arose at five, almost as tired as when I went to bed. After the nightmare my sleep was restless, punctured by dreams that jerked me into abrupt awakenings. The images ran the whole gamut, from black-and-white flashbacks of the most horrifying scenes of my military career to a full-color replay of the night I'd spent with Stephanie almost two years before. That time I woke up coming all over myself, the cries of her orgasm echoing in my brain. Shit. I need to get laid.

It was the last dream that stayed with me. I stood in the small foyer of Stephanie's apartment, hand on the doorknob, ready to walk away. "That's the way it has to be," I said flat-voiced and watched the hurt swim across her face.

I woke up thinking maybe it doesn't have to be that way. And then I wondered what the hell I was even talking about. That's the way _what_ has to be? But during a long run through the streets of Trenton and a grueling session in the gym my mind kept regurgitating the dream statement, the look on her face.

I stopped in the control room on the way to my office to get the report of the night monitoring staff. Nothing happening, good news. I didn't realize how tense I'd been over the break-ins until the sense of relief whooshed over me. As I turned toward my office my eyes coasted across the screens and noted the blinking icon that represented the cab. It was at the train station. Mr. Plum back at work, no doubt.

My desk was piled high with all the paper I'd neglected over the past few weeks, and I dove into the routine, reading, signing, scribbling notes until a change in the atmosphere broke my zone.

I could always tell when Stephanie entered the floor. The occasional quiet murmurs of conversation amplified to a low buzz, became more animated. And the uncommon sound of feminine laughter as she bid the men good morning never failed to capture my attention. I suppressed a smile and returned to the contract I was reviewing.

"Knock, knock," came her voice at my open door.

I looked up. "Come in," I said, taking note of her wild hair and frustrated expression. "Something wrong?"

She dropped down onto the leather couch and leaned her head back, staring at the ceiling. "I've got a slight problem."

I felt like smiling, but didn't. To Stephanie a slight problem could be anything from one of her frequent bad hair days to a street gang hiring out a hit on her. Since she appeared to have gone into some kind of trance I encouraged her to share. "What's the problem?"

"It's my grandma," she said, bringing her gaze back down to mine.

As always the eye contact was like a grand piano dropping seven stories to land on my head. I blinked once to shake it off and asked, "Is she okay?"

Stephanie's lips pursed, drawing my attention there and making me wonder what they would feel like wrapped around my dick. Her answer brought me out of my fantasy hoping my blank face was in place.

"Yes. No. Well, she's not sick or anything, but she's got a problem, which gives me a problem." She stared out the window behind me.

I was going to have to pry it out of her. "What kind of problem?"

"It's kind of embarrassing," she said.

"Babe."

One shoulder moved in a little circle, and she squirmed when she met my eyes again. "Well, let's just say she's spending extra time in the bathroom. That's why I was so late. I couldn't get in the shower until almost nine thirty."

I was amused but I didn't want Stephanie to think I was laughing at her so I kept it to myself. "Do you want to use the bathroom on seven?"

She nodded. "Yeah, starting tomorrow morning."

"Any time. You've got your key fob." I let my eyes slide down her body and back up again. "Just don't molest me if I'm in the shower."

I knew that would make her smile, and her grin warmed me. She nodded and stood, but before she got out the door I stopped her with a word. "Babe?"

She turned and raised her eyebrows at me.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?"

The slight clench of her jaw made me wonder what she was annoyed about before she shook her head. "Nope. Not tonight or any other night."

I wondered what had happened at Morelli's. It was easy to tell when she'd had sex after a dry spell, and she didn't have that glowing, satisfied look this morning. "Have dinner with me?"

"Sure."

"How about Rossini's?"

"I don't have anything to wear," she said. "Most of my clothes were ruined by the smoke."

"Take the afternoon off and go shopping." I hesitated and then pulled out my wallet to offer her my RangeMan platinum card. "Here, use this."

She shook her head, ponytail flipping from side to side. "It's not work related. I'm not going to let you buy me clothes." She held my eyes. "Why do you want to take me out to dinner?"

I gave her the answer I knew she'd accept. "This morning for the first time in weeks I came to work without worrying about whether my company was going down the tubes, and that's your doing. I'm grateful and I'd like to express my gratitude."

She nodded. "Okay. What time?"

"I'll let you know."

All day the awareness of Stephanie back in her cubicle bit at me like a flea on a dog. I wanted to scratch the itch, but I had too much to do so I contented myself with the anticipation of having dinner with her tonight. Maybe we could do some dancing after dinner. I hadn't taken a woman dancing in… I couldn't remember when.

It was almost a relief when she popped her head in my office at fifteen hundred. "I'm leaving now. Umm…" Her voice trailed off.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Getting ready at my parents' house makes me feel like a high school kid. And I'm not sure if the bathroom will be free when I need it."

She didn't ask, so I offered. "Do you want to shower and get ready upstairs?"

She nodded.

"No problem. Seven o'clock?"

She nodded again and smiled. "See you later."

After she was gone I walked into the control room. "Let me know when Stephanie gets back."

Martin Beam was on the in-house monitors. "Sure thing, boss."

It was hard not to smile as I walked back into my office.

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

**I Saw Forever 3**

The buzz of the intercom came as I was cleaning off my desk. I glanced at my watch, eighteen hundred, and picked up the receiver.

"Yo."

It was Marty in the control room. "Ms. Plum just pulled into the garage."

My body prodded me to go right upstairs, but my logic convinced me I should wait. It was difficult enough keeping my hands off Stephanie without knowing she was naked in my shower. As much as I wanted her, I wasn't going to force her into anything without full consent. The deal I'd made with her a couple of years before had been a huge mistake, but I'd wanted her so much that I persuaded myself that it wouldn't do any harm. But it had almost destroyed our friendship, and it was many months before the strain between us eased back into comfortable camaraderie.

Our relationship had changed since then, especially during and immediately following Julie's kidnapping. It was impossible for me to keep my emotional distance from Stephanie. She'd gotten under my skin, into my heart, and I was left with no recourse except to admit it to myself. And the dream of her marrying Morelli had scared me. If I didn't want to lose her, I was going to have to let her know my feelings.

At ten minutes to seven I strolled into my apartment and clinked my keys into the silver tray in the hallway. Stephanie met me at the door of the bedroom. She wore a slim, rust-colored dress that emphasized her slenderness and made her eyes look even bluer by comparison. High, narrow heels brought her height to within a couple of inches of my own.

I looked her over. "Nice."

"Just in time to zip me up," she said, turning her back to me and holding up her hair with both hands.

I couldn't stop myself. My fingers traced up her spine and my lips found the back of her neck. When the zipper reached the top I turned her toward me, running my mouth around to that sweet spot just under her ear, her sharp gasp and tilted head encouraging me. She smelled like autumn, spicy flowers and crisp leaves, and I had to taste her mouth. Her arms came around my neck as she responded to the kiss, and our bodies melded together, the erection I couldn't tame snuggling into her pelvis.

I wanted to yank that zipper right back down again and throw her on my bed, but I gentled my mouth and dragged myself away, steadying her swaying form with my hands at her waist.

"I just need a quick shower and I'll be ready," I said, turning and striding into the bathroom before I lost it altogether.

Rossini's wasn't too crowded, and a twenty to the maitre d' got us a table in a secluded alcove. "Champagne, Cristal," I told the waiter when he asked for our drink order.

Stephanie widened her eyes at me. "Are we celebrating?"

I nodded.

"The successful capture of the thieves?"

I nodded again.

Once the champagne was poured I raised my glass. "To you, Stephanie, your instincts, your brains… your stubbornness."

She wrinkled her nose, stuck her lower lip out and brought her glass up to clink mine. "To RangeMan," she said.

Stephanie has a way of drawing me out of my normal taciturnity with her chatter, and she kept the conversation going over dinner, even inducing me to talk about my family a little, my parents, brother and sisters, nieces and nephews. It's not that I don't want her to know about me; it's just that I'm prone to reticence and out of habit never offer information except where necessary.

I spent the few moments of silence trying to formulate an approach that would get her to tell me what had happened with Morelli the night before, but I couldn't figure out how to do it without letting her know I'd been monitoring her location.

By the time we got to dessert for Stephanie and coffee for me, she was talked out and devoted all her attention to the huge portion of tira misu in front of her. I sipped my coffee, smiling at her obvious enjoyment, and even allowed her to feed me a small bite. I don't eat dessert, preferring to avoid sugar and empty calories, but I had to admit the concoction was delicious.

She gulped down the last of the champagne and grinned at me. "That was wonderful. Thanks so much, Ranger."

"De nada, Babe."

When we stood and started toward the door Stephanie wobbled and giggled, and I realized she'd had three glasses of champagne, more than enough to affect her. It looked like dancing would have to wait for another night. I wrapped an arm around her waist to guide her to the Porsche, and by the time we pulled into the garage at Haywood Street and parked next to Big Blue she was sound asleep.

"Stephanie, wake up," I said, giving her shoulder a nudge.

"Mmm," she mumbled, cracking her eyes open for a second until they rolled back in her head and the lids dropped down again.

I got out and walked around to her door. "Come on, Babe, let's go upstairs." I didn't think she was in any condition to drive back to her parents' house tonight. And after all, she'd slept in my bed for the better part of the past week. What would one more night hurt?

I hauled her out of the car and balanced her on her high heels, keeping my arm around her. I was cognizant of the cameras all over the building, and I didn't want to scramble them until I had to. That point came when we got in the elevator and Stephanie threw her arms around me and buried her face in my neck. I had the remote in my hand and pointed it at the camera before picking her up.

"Whoops," she giggled. "What happened to the floor?"

I scrambled the camera in the seventh floor hallway the second the elevator doors opened and carried Stephanie into my apartment. She was limp in my arms, already asleep again. As I undressed her and tucked her into bed I hoped her parents wouldn't worry when she didn't come home tonight.

I placed a light kiss on each bare breast before covering them. They were beautiful, white and round with pale pink tips, and I was hard as steel, but I wasn't about to take advantage of her inebriated condition. After wrestling one of my t-shirts over her head and threading her arms through the sleeves, I swept the covers over her and yanked off my own clothes. I didn't really need another shower, but maybe a cold one would dampen my desire. Yeah, right.

After a few minutes of icy spray I gave up and swiveled the shower controls to warm. Squirting some gel into my hand I grasped myself, thought about Stephanie asleep in my bed, and with a few quick strokes took care of my condition.

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

**I Saw Forever 4**

The dream came to me again. I stood in Stephanie's apartment and watched her face crumple at my bald statement. "That's the way it has to be."

I awoke when dawn was a promise in the sky with the words resounding in my ears, my chest aching, wishing it didn't have to be that way. It took me a moment to realize that something was different. A warm weight covered me, moist lips nibbled at my neck and soft breasts with hard nipples teased my chest. Only the thin silk of my boxers prevented my morning wood from slipping into the moist softness that rubbed back and forth across me.

My hands explored to find Stephanie naked and wrapped around me, ready and willing for what I'd craved for two long years.

But in spite of the readiness of my body my mind wasn't going to accept what she offered without question. I rolled to my side, bringing her with me, and resisted the pressure from her to complete the rotation and take the top position. Curving my hands on her cheeks, I arched back until I could see her face.

"Babe," I said, but her eyes were blurred, her mouth open.

"Stephanie." My voice was sharper, louder, and she blinked and focused.

"Hmm?" Her tongue peeped out and ran over her lips, making my cock jump.

"What are you doing?"

She flung a leg over my hip and pressed her center against me, almost causing me to lose concentration. Her eyelids were heavy. "What do you think?"

"Babe." I slid my hands down to her hips and forced some space between us so I could pose the question I'd wanted to ask all day yesterday. "What about Morelli?"

"We had another fight." Her mouth turned down in a scowl. "He saw my uniforms in the bag and I told him I was going to keep working for you for a while. He gave me an ultimatum. I'm sick and tired of him trying to tell me what I can or can't do, where I can work, who I'm allowed to be friends with. It's over."

I wouldn't allow myself to hope. "Sure, until next time."

"You once told me you could make me forget Morelli if you tried." Her voice was husky, her eyes cobalt with desire. "Try."

Her words cut me to the heart and I stared at her for a moment before rolling away and off the edge of the bed.

"No," I said as I stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door.

I stood at the vanity and leaned on my hands flanking the sink, staring at my face in the mirror. I didn't get it. I'd been trying to get Stephanie into my bed for months. Years. I should be fucking her brains out right this moment. So why was I standing here with a knot in my chest?

Because she's using me, I told myself.

So what? You wanted her in bed and you've got her there, idiot. Close the deal.

But it's not really what I want, I realized with a jolt. I want more than her body. I want all of her. I want her heart.

Shit, shit, shit, now you've done it, you fool. You've fallen in love with her.

But I've loved her for years, right? And I've told her so a number of times.

There's a difference between loving and being in love, asshole. You loved her as a friend, admired her, were amused by her. And somewhere along the way the platonic kind of love turned to the forever kind.

It doesn't matter how much I care about her. My life is too dangerous. I can't afford a relationship. That's the way it has to be.

Bullshit! You've spent the past ten years thinking never. It's time to start thinking forever.

_oOo_

I managed to avoid Stephanie all day by staying out of the office. I stuffed everything I thought I'd need into a briefcase and phoned to relocate a meeting from our site to the client's. Afterward I asked if I could stay in the conference room for an hour or so to get through some paperwork.

After a quick, lonely lunch at Salad Circle, a place I knew there was no chance of meeting up with Stephanie, I passed the afternoon dropping in on clients with recent installations or work in progress. After being consumed by the robberies for weeks it didn't do any harm to let Hector and a couple other system specialists realize that I was watching them, staying on top of things.

It was the kind of day that made me wish I'd bought one of the houses I looked at last year. It would be nice to have a place, a Batcave as Stephanie termed it, where I could get away from everything. But at the time it had seemed unnecessary to keep another place with all the attendant maintenance and security issues. I had everything I needed at Haywood. Everything except guaranteed solitude.

It was after eight when I drove through the gate, and I was relieved to see Big Blue wasn't parked in Stephanie's usual spot. I walked through the door of the penthouse, dropped my keys on the silver tray and exhaled in relief. I needed the evening to think things over, to make some decisions that might turn out to be life-altering.

The first clue that I wasn't going to have my evening of contemplation was a rhythmic squeak coming from just down the hall. I walked far enough to see and sure enough, Rex's glass palace rested on the breakfast bar, the rodent himself stopping to give me a beady eye before resuming his nightly exercise.

I walked into the kitchen, noting the tray with a covered casserole on the counter, and took a bottle of water from the refrigerator. My senses were on full alert, so even with my back to the door I knew the precise moment Stephanie emerged from the bedroom and padded up behind me. Her arms snaked around my waist and the softness of her breasts and belly molded to my back.

"I'm glad you're home," she said. "I'm famished. I was just about to eat dinner without you."

I turned in her arms and took her shoulders, pushing her back until she released me. "What are you doing here, Stephanie?"

"I've changed my mind." She seemed tiny in her bare feet, the toes tipped in pale pink polish. She had to tilt her head back to meet my eyes, hers clear and candid. "I'm keeping the job _and_ staying in your bed."

I didn't know what to say. My internal dialogue raged, the voice of reason telling me to send her back to her parents' house, my libido telling me to drag her by the hair into my bed and screw her blind.

A third party, the voice of my heart, won out. "Let's eat," I said, "and then we need to talk."

_TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

**I Saw Forever 5**

We ate in silence, my eyes glued to Stephanie's mouth, watching every bite, every lick, every "Mmm" shuddering through my loins. After we finished we fell into our usual pattern, clearing the table together, Stephanie rinsing the dishes while I loaded the dishwasher. I hadn't realized how comfortable it was having her in my apartment, part of my life.

"I was surprised to find you here," I ventured, breaking the silence. "Don't tell me something happened to the Buick."

"No, of course not. That car is indestructible." Stephanie's mouth curved up. "My mom's car has to go into the shop tomorrow, so I dropped it off for her to use and Dad brought me back."

A thought occurred to me. "What do your parents think about you staying here?"

Stephanie's smile turned to a grin. "I told them about the fourth floor apartments for employees."

I kept my smile to myself and just nodded.

Stephanie dried her hands on the kitchen towel and handed it to me to use when I was finished. The domesticity of the situation struck me, punched home the fact that in spite of my no-relationship policy, somewhere along the line it had happened without me realizing it.

Stephanie took my hand and led me to the living room. "Let's sit down. I want to get a few things straight between us."

_She_ wants to get a few things straight? I wondered when I'd lost control of the situation. But that's Stephanie, always unpredictable. Life with her was never dull.

I sat in the corner of the couch, my body turned toward her, my arm extended along the back, one knee bent and resting on the cushion between us. She sat sideways facing me, her legs pulled up and crossed, her knees just inches from my leg.

As usual, she was the one to speak first. "Ranger, I want to apologize for this morning. I appreciate you letting me stay here until my apartment is repaired."

A small line appeared between her eyebrows. "Shit," she muttered, looking down at her hands in her lap. Her eyes came back up to mine. "As usual I'm making an ass of you and me. First of all I need to ask you if it's okay if I stay here for a couple of weeks until my apartment is habitable again."

I nodded. "Anytime. You're always welcome here."

She plowed on. "Of course if you'd rather I stayed in one of the fourth-floor apartments…"

"There aren't any empty right now." I allowed my expression to soften. "Besides, I like having you here."

A smile lit up her face for a second, and then she turned serious again. "I still need to apologize for this morning. I was half asleep and I didn't know what I was doing." Her lips pursed in a small moue of discomfort. "And then I was a real jerk."

I held myself in absolute stillness, though I was squirming inside. "Babe, you didn't do anything different from what I've been doing for the past few years."

"Yeah." She nodded. "But that doesn't make it right."

I couldn't help myself. I shifted, pushing myself back into the corner a little and leaning my upper body forward toward her.

"Anyway," she continued, "I just wanted to tell you that it won't happen again. I'll sleep on the couch from now on."

I nodded my acknowledgment, even though it was the last thing I wanted.

"There's something else," she added, color beginning to creep up her neck.

She stopped, and her head tipped down, curls hiding her face.

After a long minute I prompted her with a quiet word. "Continue."

I could see the effort it took for her to bring her gaze back up to mine. Her face was suffused with pink and her eyes glimmered iridescent blue through a sheen of moisture. Her throat worked as she swallowed, and her voice frogged so that she had to stop and clear it before she could go on.

"I owe you another apology. I haven't been fair to you."

I raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

"I've listened to other people instead of listening to my heart." Stephanie's hands were clamped together, knuckles white. "You've been my mentor, my friend… even my lover, and yet I haven't been completely honest with you." Her lashes fluttered as she blinked back the tears. "That night you were shot, when I didn't know if you were going to live or die, I admitted it to myself, and now I'm admitting it to you. I love you, Ranger."

I let the smile in my heart show on my face. "I know."

Her mouth dropped open and the flabbergasted look made it difficult to keep from laughing, but I managed it.

"You know?!" Her voice was a full octave higher, and then dropped to a mutter. "Damn ESP."

"It doesn't take ESP to know what you're thinking, Babe. Your thoughts are all over your face." I reached out a hand to cup her cheek. "They shine through your eyes."

She spread her hand over mine, her fingers small and pale in comparison. "What I said this morning, about you making me forget Morelli…" She curled her fingers between mine and guided my hand down to her lap, holding it there with both of hers. "Joe has turned into a habit for me, one that it's time I broke. We have some history, and some chemistry, but it's not enough to build a life on. I'm tired of the fights, of his criticism of my job, my friends…" She sighed. "So I'm not going back this time…" Defiance blazed in her eyes as they held mine. "Even if you tell me to."

I shook my head, keeping my look steady on her face. "I won't make that mistake again." I thought about this morning. "I guess I owe you an apology, too," I said, "although what I've been doing wasn't intentional."

For once I didn't know how to explain. I'd deluded myself into thinking I just wanted casual sex with Stephanie, and that was the only option I'd given her. All the innuendo, the stolen kisses—it was all just a smokescreen, a way to hide what I really felt for her.

Her voice interrupted my self-analysis. "Continue."

I had to grin at the way she used my own words against me. Her perception was sometimes surprising, always delightful.

The grin faded and I put on my poker face. "I don't want a repeat of our night together."

Her face went as blank as mine, and she released my hand. I brought my other hand down from the back of the couch and grabbed both of hers in both of mine.

"Stephanie…" I took a deep breath and tried to show her my feelings, letting my soul pour into those attentive eyes. "I want more."

She blinked and squeaked out, "More?"

"I want you in my bed every night. In my life every day. Clear?"

Her eyes were wide, her lips parted, and she stared at me for an eternity.

After what might have been an hour, I spoke. "Babe?"

That broke the spell. She untangled her legs and stood up, gripping my hands and pulling to urge me to my feet. Without losing eye contact for even a second, she backed toward the bedroom, tugging me along with her.

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

**I Saw Forever 6**

_Warning: Smut_

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. A couple have cost lives, a number have caused pain, a few have come back to prey on me. But it's rare for me to screw up in as monumental a way as I did the first time I made love with Stephanie.

I lusted after her for the better part of a year and did enough teasing and touching and kissing to make sure she wanted me, too. But I never intended to collect on that stupid deal. It was just a way of keeping her on edge, thinking about me. And to be honest, she didn't need me to take Eddie DeChooch in. She had him. He sang her a sad song about how humiliated he'd be if a woman brought him in, and she caved and called me. I figured it was her way of letting me know that she wanted what I offered, wanted to spend a night with me.

I may have been right about that but I was wrong to cash in on it.

I was always at my weakest when Stephanie was in pain, and the night I collected the debt she was scared and struggling. It got to me, so I was fast and rough with her the first time, needing her so much I couldn't hold back. And even though I spent the night making it up to her, it left a sour taste. And then I walked away, telling myself I was protecting her but really protecting myself.

As we faced each other in my bedroom, hands locked together, I vowed this time I'd do it right. Make the right moves. For the right reasons. To achieve the right result.

"Ranger." Stephanie's pupils were dilated, her eyes darkened to indigo, her lips parted, breath hissing in and out. I dropped her hands and cradled her face, letting my lips graze her forehead, her nose, each cheek, her chin, before settling on her mouth. Her lips parted and I nipped at them, top lip, bottom lip, tasting and teasing, caught up in her essence.

Her scent, unlike any other woman I've ever known, always captured me and I buried my face in the juncture of her neck and shoulder, her hair tickling my nose. As her arms twined around me and her hands tunneled their way under my shirt, the heat of her touch on the skin of my back wrenched a groan from me.

"Wait," I whispered as she yanked at my shirt, pulling it up to expose my torso.

"I can't." Her voice was dark with passion. "I need to touch you."

I let go of her long enough to strip the shirt off over my head and returned my hands to her, starting at her hips and caressing up her sides underneath her t-shirt to her breasts. Even through the tight sports bra that flattened them, her nipples stood out, just waiting for my thumbs to glide over them.

When her hands fumbled at my pants I stopped her, locking her wrists in one hand and raising them over her head so I could pull her shirt off.

"Slow down, Babe," I murmured. "We've got all night."

"I want you, Ranger," she breathed, and grabbed the bottom edge of the black bra, stripping it off over her head.

When my mouth closed over her nipple her legs went limp and I had to lock my arms around her waist to keep her upright.

"Let's get rid of these," I said, undoing her jeans with one hand and sliding them down her legs. When she stepped out of them I swooped her up in my arms and laid her on the bed clad in just her black RangeMan panties.

I had to stop, stand still for a moment, surveying the ocean depths of her eyes, her hair brunette flames on the pillow, the pale satin of her body like milky moonlight against the dark brown silk of the comforter. This doesn't happen to me, I thought. I've never been here before. It was a scene from a dream, one that had haunted me for years. She was all I needed, all I wanted, all I thought I could never have.

Mine.

I held back, making it last, slipping the panties down those long slim legs until she lay naked before me and I couldn't stop myself from joining her on the bed, all thought gone, my desire taking over.

"Ranger, I need you," she husked, trying to pull me on top of her, her hand yanking at the button of my pants.

"Patience," I rasped, again capturing her wrists.

I held her there, hands over her head while my mouth possessed her, kissing, licking, nipping. When I reached that most intimate of places, the orgasm shuddered through her, and although inside I was rabid to yank off my pants and thrust myself into her I maintained discipline.

Keeping my movements slow and deliberate, my body under strict control, twice more I propelled her up over the crest, each time higher, deeper, until she was almost sobbing, grabbing my hair and dragging my head up so that she could taste my mouth, taste herself on my tongue.

"Ranger," she gasped, "inside me. Now. That's an order."

I couldn't keep the joy off my face as I raised myself up and peeled my cargoes off. When I nudged into her, she cried out and pulsated around me, and I was imprisoned in her heaven.

_oOo_

For the second morning I awoke to daybreak with Stephanie on top of me. But today she was lax and sated, her face nestled against my chest, her arms limp around me, her breathing deep and steady.

As I eased her over to the side her grip tightened. "Do you have to go?" she mumbled, her voice muffled with sleep.

I thought about it. Did I really have to get up? Would the world end if I didn't run this morning?

"No," I decided, rolling us both over until I was poised over her, my weight on my forearms and knees.

When she again lay replete beside me I said, "I have an early meeting, Babe, so I need to get going. But you can sleep a while longer."

She raised herself up on her elbow and looked at me, her eyes filled with that desolate look that I recognized from my dream. That's the way it has to be.

Her glance skated away. "I guess I'll see you later, then."

I cocked my fingers beneath her chin and waited until she again focused on me. "Stephanie, don't forget what I said last night. It's not like last time."

"No emotional price," she muttered under her breath.

"I love you, Babe. I want you to stay with me."

"Tonight?"

I nodded.

A flare of hope brightened the blue as I held her eyes. "Tomorrow?"

I nodded again.

"Next week?"

I kept my head going.

She took a deep breath and her muscles tensed with the importance of the question. "How long?"

I put every molecule of emotion, every shred of sincerity I could summon into my expression, into my voice as I gave her my honest answer.

"Forever."

_The End_


End file.
